HORRIBLEGIF TEXT #FINAL: LAMENT OF THE PILOTFISH
We’re halfway into 2014 and already we’ve had a handful of articles from reputable news sources like Village Voice, NY Times and the FT on a murky sanctum of the art world: the market. The articles collectively ruminate on the dubious business practices of collectors/dealers and super rich institution-entities within the canopy of the art forest, as well as unethical investor attitudes and actual criminal activity. Many mention a boom, ultra-fast selling, flipping and so on and so forth. Unsurprisingly there are a lot of people who don’t seem very kosher, but to make a moot point that is not a phenomenon unique to anywhere. What the articles all have in common is the observation of the notoriously opaque and hyperreal state of affairs in the art business. Does a bear shit in the woods? However it is something that hasn’t been explicitly mentioned in general press that much. Celebrations and enthusiasm over possible reformation from ArtRank/Sellyoulater’s Dorian Gray mirror is something I’d put on hold as you just have to look at the collective indifference the world expressed at Edward Snowden’s NSA revelations. Everyone kind of expected it to be going on. In the popular imagination governments do have a knack for nefarious activity, just look at the X-Files for proof of that. Aliens, man. When it was confirmed that our privacy was being actively invaded via the internet, the outcry was pretty much a fart in Gagosian’s storage room. Never mind that island-buying amounts of money are going into these unethical monitoring operations, the consensus was that people just expect this kind of thing - those who are innocent have nothing to hide and the nefarious mass of ghostly, invasive eyes will of course only penalise those who are guilty.
The description of the upcoming exhibition at the Hayward Gallery has left us puzzled.
THE DEFAULT WHINGE ABOUT SELFIES
One trusty HG intern, bored of watching the Tour de France cycle through the London docklands area, decided to type up a default HorribleGIF rant about art writers writing about selfies, the perpetual abyss of a question that nobody asked…
saw this image doing the rounds on facebook, we wish we could take credit for it. whoever did this, you’re a man/woman after our own hearts x
we suggest you all have a read of maurizio lazzarato’s book ‘the making of the indebted man’ which is published by semiotext(e). really interesting, clear translation and not a single hashtag or mention of late-capitalism, concepts he art world love using to seem smart&critical without any proper contextual analysis. lots of mentions of neoliberalism though, that’s still cool right? economists say that a lot. the only notion we have about economism is saying how perpetually broke we are and humblebragging about ACE funding. well, this book costs less than shitty london cocaine and has a broad sociological remit. no decision there, right?
STARTFAIR TOTE BAG REVIEW
when we were at the Venice biennale, which is perhaps when HG was born properly as counterpoint to all the fairytale art reportage of the event, we got so many tote bags. We’d have loved to have done a review feature on all of them, awarding the gallery with the best tote bag a prestigious honour. But we all have real life commitments and that would demand too much time, come on! We don’t have enough interns for that level of bollocks production.
But we would like to review the STARTFAIR tote bag: shit design, no gusset, good handle material and shoulder comfort, nice canvas though. Would take it to sainsburys for some light shopping, probs. 4.7 out of 10
and that concludes our reportage of STARTFAIR at saatchi gallery
if we actually got press passes to more art fairs, we’d love to do a feature called CANAPÉ REPORT. In this instance we are faced with ready salted crisps (for the younguns), olives and… radishes? Interesting - definitely a vibrant counterpoint to the good white wine that is prevalent and free. As a concept though, a weird addendum though to the student party-esque staples.
glad to see the 90s are still in full effect as something to parasitically suck off with dyson cyclone force. Or maybe henry force? Why isn’t there Henry the Hoover art yet? Every gallery has a Henry, they’re the best! It would just make sense! A Henry Hoover art would have our full support.